Loneliness can strike at any life stage - during childhood right through to older age. There are lots of different reasons for feeling lonely but also, on a positive note, many things you can do to improve your situation and make connections with people.
There are times of year when you may feel loneliness more acutely as,well. You might be prompted by anniversaries, special dates and seasonal times such as Bank Holidays and Christmas time. These times typically tend to magnify our feelings.
Taking the time to pinpoint the source of your loneliness can often be a big help in working towards overcoming it. For example if you have recently retired or gone through a break-up you might need to reframe your time and the shape of your week. You might have a mental health issue that makes leaving the house or socialising difficult. You might have low self-esteem or worry about what other people think. There are many valid reasons for why you feel alone.
This article covers a few angles which I hope resonate with you. If not, don't be afraid to reach out and talk to friends, family or a trained professional. I can help you talk through your options and support you to take some forward-looking action. If you read these suggestions and dismiss them as 'not for you', maybe re-think them and examine how you could make them your thing going forward.
Talk to people
Just a few moments of social contact can make a huge difference. Make small talk in the shop, post office, petrol station. Say hello to people you pass in the street. Thank the bus driver or the delivery person. Don't be afraid to smile and speak. If you don't get the response you were hoping for, it's usually down to the other person, but generally you'll get a smile back.
Find your tribe
There are groups and clubs for just about everything - from sports to knitting and everything in between. As well as local groups you'll find classes where you can learn something new. You could sing in the choir, help out at a local school, go to church or volunteer at a charity that appeals to you. Our little village has a regular litter pick, walking groups for all ages, yoga classes, a drama society, 'knit and natter' and plenty of other gatherings.
The great thing about joining in is that there will always be other new people too. You have to overcome that initial worry of walking through the door for the first time but it doesn't get any more difficult than that. The main purpose of any group is to connect like-minded people. Just remember that everyone there has been new at some point and there isn't a person alive who hasn't felt that anxiety in a new situation.
Ask others
There are always plenty of things going on so make a point of asking people if they know of any interesting things that are happening in your neighbourhood. Look on your community noticeboards and Facebook pages to see what's being organised.
Reconnect
Sometimes we let friendship slip. They take time and emotional investment and it can be easier to withdraw. But reaching out, suggesting a cuppa, a walk or just having a phone call for a few minutes can be a game-changer. Make a list of people who you know and try to rekindle your friendships. This applies to family members too.
Consider a pet
Animals are very loving and a wonderful way to keep loneliness at bay. What's more if you are taking the time to walk a dog each day you will inevitably cross paths with others. Stop to talk, ask about their pet and enjoy the exchange. Being out and about is a really good way to clear your head, take exercise and meet people.
A final thought is that sometimes the days, evening or weekends can seem never-ending if you're feeling lonely. Try to have a routine of some sort. Always get up, show up and get on with things. Keep busy and have some targets for each day. Include something that brings you into contact with others on a daily basis and see if you can expand on that as it gets easier. Look out for opportunities to initiate the company of others and celebrate the victories - there will be plenty for sure.
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