ADHD is a complicated concept for anyone to understand so it’s always going to be a challenge to explain it to a child. It’s important that you approach the subject in your own way, in your own time. You may prefer to take a gentle approach adding additional information as and when your child is ready, allowing them time to think about and process each stage.
Here are a few pointers:
Keep it positive
Introduce ADHD in terms of problem-solving: “I was talking to Dr Zoe and it was really interesting because…” or “I’ve just read something that will help us to get to the bottom of…” or however you feel is best for your situation. Taking a light, conversational approach is always good.
Pick your environment carefully too – maybe when you’re out walking, doing something together, or even driving so it doesn’t feel confrontational or too serious. A ‘family meeting’ setup can feel alarming, especially if that’s not usual for your household.
Describe ADHD as it applies to your child
ADHD by name is quite misleading. Attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder doesn’t necessarily relate to your child as it presents in a number of ways, sometimes with nothing to do with attention or activity levels! If we work together I can help you put this into words for your child, explaining how their particular type of neurodiversity means they see the world slightly differently.
It is useful to work with a professional who can assess and diagnose the specific ways in which your child has ADHD. Your understanding is paramount if you are to convey it to your child.
Pick the ways in which ADHD serves your child
Is your child funny, hyper-focused, able to remember detail, able to consume a lot of information in one go, super creative, energetic or particularly gifted at something? However your child presents with ADHD there will be positives because of it, not in spite of it. We can explore these and make sure your child knows that they have superpowers to be proud of.
Let your child know that they are not alone
“We believe the best data for the UK is from the Lancet and NICE giving a childhood incidence rate of 5% and an adult incidence rate of 3-4%. That provides for a total estimate of 2.6million people in the UK with ADHD (694,000 children, 1.9 million adults” (Source: adhduk.co.uk).
Famous people with ADHD
There are many people in the public eye with ADHD. This can help to make it relatable and even exciting for children to hear. With a bit of online research you can come up with a list of people they might have heard of to inspire them - and show them they are in the very best company.
Emma Watson, Michael Phelps, Justin Timberlake, Greta Gerwig, Simone Biles, Mark Ruffalo, Channing Tatum, Lily Allen, Alfie Allen, Dave Grohl, Johnny Depp, will.i.am, Adam Levine, Sam Fender, Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Lionel Messi, Jamie Oliver, Ant McPartlin, Will Smith, Ryan Gosling – the list goes on.
Talk about the challenges and how you might be able to help
In line with being positive, it’s good to talk about how there might be times when they might have to behave a little more conventionally – like sitting still for longer than they’d like to or waiting their turn to speak in a conversation, even when they are really enthusiastic about joining in. There are lots of ways that a child with ADHD can successfully navigate the world.
Example: If one of their challenges is settling down to complete some homework that might take a long time, why not use a timer to allocate shorter bursts of time to completing it. They might have to return to it a few times but if they are struggling to sit and focus for a long time, this might make it less frustrating.
A little goes a long way so the ADHD conversation might run and run. Start small and return to the subject as and when it feels right; or when you have something you need to tackle together. Reading is also an interesting way to share information – for you both. There are age-appropriate books available (see below) that you could vet first and introduce to help you both learn more.
How your child receives this information - and the way in which you deliver it - are crucially important in how they will see themselves going forward. If you’d like to have a conversation and explore the best way to have these important communications, please do get in touch and we can talk it through and make a plan.
Read up
There are lots of really good books available that you might like to consider, here are just a few:
My Amazing ADHD Brain by Emily Snape
ADHD is our Superpower by Soli Lazarus
My Monster and Me by Nadiya Hussain (TV Chef, of Great British Bake Off fame)
Benji’s Busy Brain by Erin Schoenfelder Gonzalez
Super Duper You by Sophy Henn
Wonderfully Wired Brains by Louise Gooding
Zak has ADHD by Jenny Leigh
Reference:
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