We all know that unfounded feeling that something is wrong, a sort of dread, and sometimes referred to as ‘impending doom’ but with no basis in reality. We check through our usual list of concerns and whilst everything is usually far from perfect, there’s nothing specific, significant or new that we can attribute our worries to. If you’re sure that your anxious feelings can’t be traced to anything specific then it could be related to the menopause and perimenopause (the time leading up to menopause).
Experiencing anxiety during the menopause is a common symptom as your body is undergoing hormonal changes, specifically a decrease in estrogen and progesterone. Knowing this doesn’t make us feel any less anxious but it can serve as a reminder that it’s biology at work.
Changes during the menopause can present in a number of ways – lack of focus and motivation, mood swings, depression, irritability, sleep disturbance, a reduced sex drive and anxiety, UTIs, changing physical shape/weight, headaches – to name a few. In extreme cases you may suffer from panic attacks. Who said being a menopausal woman is easy?
You can see how this new time in our lives can impact on everything around us – relationships, family dynamics, work and even our self-esteem. It can feel a little bit like when we started our periods, everything changed and we were gifted with ‘that time of the month’! Similarly, as with teenage periods, we are affected in different ways and in varying degrees. Some women breeze through life changes without any remarkable effects whilst others can suffer miserably – and then there’s everything in between.
It’s really important that we recognise the changes we’re going through and know we aren’t alone. I recently posted about the menopause on social media and had a significant response which showed me that there are many of us who feel the need to share and talk about it. It’s a perfectly natural life stage but not always welcome - at least the symptoms aren’t!
How to help symptoms in menopause: Some of the options I’m suggesting might sound trite or predictable but they work most effectively when incorporated into daily routines. As an example, relaxation techniques will help you both physically and mentally but when they’re included as part of a regular, daily habit you’ll reap much more benefit. You’ll master the techniques more effectively and you’ll come to associate the action with the result.
Relaxation techniques: Consider learning effective breathing techniques that help slow the heart rate, lower blood pressure and still your mind. These are great because, done properly, they do have an immediately calming effect and you can practise it anywhere.
Simple inhalation and exhalation routines can be adopted such as the 4-4-4-4 technique: breathe in deeply for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out slowly for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and repeat several times, adjusting the number of seconds to suit. There are lots of variations but the key is to be still, think only about your breath and focus on being still and calm. Closing your eyes as you do this helps too.
Other relaxation techniques can be found in more formal settings such as yoga, pilates and meditation. You can attend classes or find guided sessions online.
Exercise: Love it or hate it, any form of exercise is beneficial for anxiety. From walking to mountaineering, exercise provides a platform for switching off, concentrating on what you’re doing and takes you away from screens and emails. If you don’t already have something you enjoy it’s worth spending some time finding out what kind of exercise suits you and your lifestyle. A most unsporty friend recently started swimming once she had plucked up the courage to go for it (trust me, no one is watching you, they’re too concerned about themselves!) and now she grins as she takes that first stroke and goes three times a week.
Create a calm setting: I am often heard saying that I need to see a candle flame as this particularly relaxes me – although not always. I adjust my environment to suit my mood so that might mean a change in lighting, candles (or not!), music and company (again, or not!). It’s important to work out what you need at any particular time and strive to create an atmosphere that you can adjust wherever you are. Obviously this isn’t always practical in a work situation but there are often tweaks you can make so you feel more comfortable. Tune in to your needs and note what works for you.
Talking: In my private practice in Alrewas I have regular appointments for women who are struggling with different aspects of the menopause, including anxiety. It helps to talk it through, understand the impact it is having on you and work out the best routes forward.
Psychotherapy has been proven to be very effective for women going through the perimenopause or menopause and we can do a lot together to help understand, recognise and manage the symptoms. One to ones or group sessions are available and it’s absolutely the first best place to start if you are seeking support. It can work together with any GP prescribed medication such as HRT but it’s recommended that you start with talking therapy first.
It’s important to know that your menopause related anxiety is entirely normal and there are a whole host of things we can work on to help reduce its impact on you and your daily life. Talk to me – I am well qualified and specialise in helping women at all life stages, with a focus on menopause.
We are better together.
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